Healing

So all of yesterday I was off. I had no responsibilities to the shelter whatsoever. I must admit, it was kinda nice.  Then another staff member, Tracey came running down the staff hall, frantically might I add. Of course, I asked what was wrong; she was looking for another staff member to cover her shift. Why? She then informed me that a guest Sarah was shaking really bad and needed to go to the hospital, but wouldn't go alone. Understandable considering that she lives in a shelter.  I immediately go to grab my purse, phone, and keys so I can go with her.  On my one day off for the next few days, I choose to go to the hospital with a lady I hardly know.

As we are riding in the back of the ambulance to the hospital six miles away, I begin thinking about the situation. I immediately went to grab my things so I could assist in any way possible. That is not me at all! I avoid the hospital as much as possible, normally causing me to pass the baton to somebody else.

In my life, my mother has had the ambulance called multiple times and the number of times I have gone with her is ZERO! This is my mom! The lady that has loved me since I was born, and I have not once offered to go to the hospital with her.

Once we arrived to the hospital, and I and another staff were required to wait elsewhere while the medical staff took care of her, I was in complete agony. This I feel with my mother too (Just to clarify). Is she okay? What's going on? Will I get to see her soon? Tracy told me not to let her out of my sight so that brought more nervousness to the equation. As I sat, I continued to ponder about my unwillingness to help my mom.

I have had emotionally damage because of my mom's health issues, and I have known this for a bit, but was unsure how to deal with it. Last night as I continued to worry about Sarah, I gave up my hurts (I had plenty of time to deal with them because we were in the ER for a large amount of time) . I realized that because I wouldn't let go of my hurt that our relationship will not get any better. I used to blame her for all of it, but GOD revealed to me that it is me too.

Around 11:30 we were able to go back to the shelter with a good report and release. I found freedom in my own hurts and I believe that I have completely let them go now and I pray that I can make them stay away. My prayer for you today is that you can find freedom in your hurts, just as I have in a lot of mine!

Before you go, as always, I have a few prayer request:

• A human trafficking victim is being admitted to the shelter today. The staff member admitting her, is a former victim and will need strength to get through this. 
• Roundaway youth group, they are going to Centrifuge this week and will be learning a great deal. 
• I can continue to learn, accepting my mistakes and being able to move on from them. (Made quite a few this morning)

amgfinding_freedom